“anesthesia” by Alexa Valentino is a song riddled with the intense hurt of someone who has been in a toxic relationship. The lyrics start off by showing the narrator’s backslide into the relationship, along with a cry for help: “lock myself in the bathroom, pills on the floor just to make you listen”. This is a distressing and extreme image, and the rest of the song shows just how the person got to this point. Her whole life became about making sure her partner was okay, and that burden is simply too much to bear. In the second verse, the lyrics “push away everybody so I could be free to console you” are a testament to the way being in such a dependent relationship is isolating. The speaker would rather be sedated than break up with her partner. Although the relationship consumes her life and is constant emotional labor, the narrator has built a life for them together in her mind. Even so, she knows she has to end it for her own sake. Her partner certainly does not prioritize her, and the relationship has separated her from her friends. The lyrics “if I’m lucky I’ll finally break the curse of saving everybody when I’m at my worst” express the narrator’s want to be there for herself. Through the pain, this thought is a step towards healing. It is recognition that she deserves to be a priority.
A slow, high, and gentle piano melody—the same as the chorus—opens the song. Each note rings out so softly, they almost sound broken. The piano glides into sustained chords as gentle acoustic guitar joins in. Alexa’s breathy and soft voice holds an intimate quality like a whisper. She has a feminine and comforting voice which sounds reflectively expressive with each word. The vocals through the end of the verse, while beautifully tuneful, have a fragility to them as though each word is infused with meaning. Alexa’s vocals are bold and rounded through the chorus, and all tones of a whisper are gone as her voice moves through emotional high notes. Percussion is gentle through the second verse, and builds onwards. Alexa is singing her heart out on the bridge, complimenting the independence featured in the lyrics. The song ends with a melodic and emotional soft note with vocals and piano.
Alexa Valentino is a singer, songwriter, and actress based in New York. She won the John Lennon Songwriting Contest Song of The Year in 2022 for her song “Dear Love”. She has five years of experience in teaching piano, and her skills as a pianist are audible in most of her songs, including “anesthesia”. With sweet, passionate vocals and vibrant instrumentals, Alexa’s emotional tunes easily resonate with listeners. Her music gets personal, drawing on her experiences with borderline personality disorder, creating genuine and moving representation of mental health struggles through her art. The artist has performed on the stage and on the screen, including on NBC’s “Ministry of Evil, The Twisted Cult of Tony Alamo”, and in the web-series “The Mortician” that can now be found on Amazon Prime. Learn more about Alexa’s performances and listen to her moving music by checking out the links below!
Written By Hanna Kowal
FOLLOW ALEXA:
Comments